Motivation
Since the end of 'cross season my motivation has been lacking. Sure, I have been riding but I can't really say that I have been training. I have ridden just enough to maintain fitness.
That has not been a bad thing. I am riding well for early March and I felt good at Froze Toes before flatting. But, there has been a nagging feeling in my gut that I could be much better.
Last night, I did a series of intervals. They hurt, as intervals usually do. By the end of the ride I broken myself down and exposed my weaknesses. I was depressed and concerned with the apparent drop in fitness and the lack of motivation.
This evening I laid down in bed and cracked open a book. I had told myself that I needed to have a day to recover. In reality I needed mental recovery as much as physical recover. I was convinced that riding tonight would be detrimental. It seemed logical except for the fact that it has been my lack of riding that put me in this spot. I read a few pages of the book and thoughts of the bike kept going through my head. With every turn of the page the guilt grew in my mind. I knew I had to ride even if I did not want to put myself through the torture of the trainer. My conscience had gotten the best of me and I changed into an old pair of shorts to do what needed to be done.
I rode a little better than last night. At least I am telling myself that I did better. If nothing else, my mind is better for knowing that I have the motivation to push myself even if I did not really want to ride.
I stood in the shower with warm water pouring over me. My legs were tired with the slightest bit of muscle spasms and an ache in my thighs and calves. It was good.
That has not been a bad thing. I am riding well for early March and I felt good at Froze Toes before flatting. But, there has been a nagging feeling in my gut that I could be much better.
Last night, I did a series of intervals. They hurt, as intervals usually do. By the end of the ride I broken myself down and exposed my weaknesses. I was depressed and concerned with the apparent drop in fitness and the lack of motivation.
This evening I laid down in bed and cracked open a book. I had told myself that I needed to have a day to recover. In reality I needed mental recovery as much as physical recover. I was convinced that riding tonight would be detrimental. It seemed logical except for the fact that it has been my lack of riding that put me in this spot. I read a few pages of the book and thoughts of the bike kept going through my head. With every turn of the page the guilt grew in my mind. I knew I had to ride even if I did not want to put myself through the torture of the trainer. My conscience had gotten the best of me and I changed into an old pair of shorts to do what needed to be done.
I rode a little better than last night. At least I am telling myself that I did better. If nothing else, my mind is better for knowing that I have the motivation to push myself even if I did not really want to ride.
I stood in the shower with warm water pouring over me. My legs were tired with the slightest bit of muscle spasms and an ache in my thighs and calves. It was good.
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